I started a new tradition this year during advent. On each sunday we have a special dinner, typically including the neighbors(Jax and Dan), and use our fine china and crystal, even the kids. We eat in the formal dining room and light the advent wreath. The kids have so much fun helping me set the table. With each klink of the silverware falling on plates or bumping into glasses my heart stops for a minute and then I breathe. I have always used my china far more than anyone I know but still not enough. This year I was blessed to inheirit one of my closest aunt's china and crystal. She died many years ago and her husband is getting very sick with parkinson's and told me he wanted to see it to its "rightful owner" before he died and brought it to me this summer. I was lucky enough to live right around the corner from my aunt and uncle when Scott and I got married and I was thankful to be able to take her to radiation treatments and be with her in her dying days. I just sent my uncle a Christmas card letting him know that He and Joan are thought of and prayed for every time i use and clean those special dishes. To me they are like that story of the woman who had bought very expensive, fancy lingerie and was saving it for a special occasion and her sister ended up putting it on her for the first time under her dress in her coffin and it still had the tags. Lord knows I don't want to be buried with dishes, so by golly I am going to use them as much as I can. If I am surrounded by dishes when I die, I'll know I'm in hell.
Another nice thing I learned this Advent is something Emily's school does. The have advent angels and are randomly assigned a person in another grade for couple weeks before Christmas. They make cards and crafts and do special things with this person. I love how they intergrate things between different grades. When i was in school every class was against the other. There wasn't much friendliness or mingling. Well, I thought about it and Scott has been my advent angel this year. I have been so plagued with sinus infections and feeling drained and he has really picked up the slack. Last thurs. night I started throwing up with diarrhea all over the bathroom and he kept coming in to help me and get me trash bags and towels and new clothes. He went to work and as soon as he got there, I called him and told him I just couldn't take care of the kids. Without hesitation he packed up his laptop and hurried home to be the domestic goddess of the day. He got me chicken noodle soup and sprite and kept the kids away so I could rest. It was really thoughtful. After 13 years together sometimes we seem to communicate as an automated voice teller machine with little variation in the things we say but his actions spoke volumes.
Tomorrow will mark the 12 anniversary of our engagement. It seems like decades. I will never forget that special night and can't imagine how much work he put in to pulling that off. What is also funny about that same christmas is that I really wanted a kitchenaid stand mixer. I assured him there was nothing demeaning to me as a woman to buy that for me. When I came home from college I was totally snooping at his house when I found it. It had to be the mixer. But no, I couldn't wait a whole week. I opened it and I tore the paper. I totally panicked and took it back to Famous and had it rewrapped. Yes, it was the best Christmas ever---a kitchenaid mixer...oh yeah... and getting engaged to the greatest guy on earth!!!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Advent
I am so glad this year that I made a plan and was able to get my Christmas decorating and shopping done before Thanksgiving. I have been much more peaceful and am enjoying myself more. I also cut back on how much I spend on gifts and was not too much concerned with whether or not the people I was buying for liked the gift. Given the economic times and uncertainty in our future I decided people should be glad they are getting anything. So help me if one of my kids ever acts disappointed about a gift it could very well be their last. We rehearse often before family events what to do if they don't like something or they already have that. And often we talk about the families who have nothing to eat much less toys and presents. My kids are so excited about the giving tree at church. While I was in the back of church last sunday with Ben doing hot laps, I was able to search out ornaments with the same ages of my kids and a mom for me to buy for. Emily made a list of what she wants to get the child and keeps bugging me to take her shopping. She doesn't understand payday is not till next week. She is even more excited to help me pick out pots and pans as requested on the ornament. She said "mom, we have to pick out some real fancy ones so she can cook for her kids." To that I replied, "mommy just bought some real fancy ones for jackies wedding that haven't been used yet, maybe we could just take hers." (Just kidding Jax-making sure you are reading this!) I am so happy about their enthusiasm to help others.
Which leads me to the next problem I encountered this week. I have caught emily in two lies. The first was her kissing a boy and making him cry and his friends making fun of him. She told me it was not her and i happened to be at dinner with his mom and when introduced to her she said "Oh, your Emily's mom who kissed my son and made him cry." Yeah that was real comfortable. Anyway she continued to lie to my face until I broke her. No waterboarding or anything like that, but I did get it out of her. Then I came into the kitchen to find a drawer broken. She lied and said it wasn't her. Then I said I was going to give the person who did it gum because I was glad Dad could fix it then she fessed up. So she sat in time out in the corner chewing gum. Well, I received a call from her teacher thursday and she said two boys said Emily called them bad names, one of which being the A- word. I was totally dumbfounded. She asked me if I had noticed her Tourettes getting worse at home and actually she hardly has any ticks at the moment and has not shown any aggression. It was the worst feeling I have had in a long time. Total failure as a parent. Luckily jackie was there to convince me I was not the first parent that teacher has had to call. When she came home we sat down and she was facing me on my lap and at first she lied but then big old alligator tears started falling one by one down her face. She said the boy who sits next to her has been teasing and making fun of her for a while and it keeps hurting her feelings but she wants to be tough and ignore him and not say things back. I asked her to think about how she feels when someone says mean things to her and there might be a little boy crying at home because she hurt his feelings. She said she didn't mean to and cried in my arms for 20 minutes. She was so full of pain it was pouring out into her behavior. I still don't believe it about the a-word. The teacher never witnessed any of it.
She went upstairs and read Lauren her first chapter book and they did christmas crafts for a long time.
So I told Emily that she had to make 5 Christmas cards for nursing home residents and we were going to sing to them with girl scouts. That went into a long explanation about what a nursing home is and how lonely they are without family. She could not wrap her mind around the fact that people wouldn't have family to care for them. Since the minute she has come into this world she has been a first eyewitness of how I take care of my mom. Three different surgeries, mom has come to live with us for anywhere from one to three months. We are frequently taking grandma to the various doctor appointments, running errands, doing gift shopping and going to clean her house. She once asked me why grandpa doesn't do it and I just told her he wasn't a nurse. Many evenings they have given me up so I can clean their house more easily and they have seen me take care of dad and have him move in after his heart attack and hernia surgeries. When Greg didn't have someone to take him to the hosptial for gallbladder surgery, I did happily. The thing is most of what i do does not involve nursing. I used to work in a nursing home and there were so many able bodied people living there that were in better shap than my mom. It made me sad to think that with a little help they could have stayed in their homes longer. I love the eastern cultures who without exception take on the responsibility of aging parents. After all they have given us. I think if families turned to each other more for help then our country would not be in such a welfare state that it is.
Anyway, Emily was upset that people had to live without their families and she worked so hard on those cards. She put "i love you" and "may God bless you". I am so looking forward to seeing her pass out those cards and bringing joy to others. I also want to teach her not to be afraid of the handicapped and aged. It was my mom bringing me to the nursing home every single day of my childhood to feed grandma lunch that fostered in me the need to care for others in my vocation as a nurse. I have such a clear memory of seeing my grandma sitting in her wheelchair barely able to hold her head up and my mom spoonfeeding her pureed, babyfood looking stuff. What a turn of roles that was. I have never driven to her house and wished I didn't have to go to do that work. Tomorrow the girls and I will go and do Christmas cleaning and decorating there and I can't wait!
Which leads me to the next problem I encountered this week. I have caught emily in two lies. The first was her kissing a boy and making him cry and his friends making fun of him. She told me it was not her and i happened to be at dinner with his mom and when introduced to her she said "Oh, your Emily's mom who kissed my son and made him cry." Yeah that was real comfortable. Anyway she continued to lie to my face until I broke her. No waterboarding or anything like that, but I did get it out of her. Then I came into the kitchen to find a drawer broken. She lied and said it wasn't her. Then I said I was going to give the person who did it gum because I was glad Dad could fix it then she fessed up. So she sat in time out in the corner chewing gum. Well, I received a call from her teacher thursday and she said two boys said Emily called them bad names, one of which being the A- word. I was totally dumbfounded. She asked me if I had noticed her Tourettes getting worse at home and actually she hardly has any ticks at the moment and has not shown any aggression. It was the worst feeling I have had in a long time. Total failure as a parent. Luckily jackie was there to convince me I was not the first parent that teacher has had to call. When she came home we sat down and she was facing me on my lap and at first she lied but then big old alligator tears started falling one by one down her face. She said the boy who sits next to her has been teasing and making fun of her for a while and it keeps hurting her feelings but she wants to be tough and ignore him and not say things back. I asked her to think about how she feels when someone says mean things to her and there might be a little boy crying at home because she hurt his feelings. She said she didn't mean to and cried in my arms for 20 minutes. She was so full of pain it was pouring out into her behavior. I still don't believe it about the a-word. The teacher never witnessed any of it.
She went upstairs and read Lauren her first chapter book and they did christmas crafts for a long time.
So I told Emily that she had to make 5 Christmas cards for nursing home residents and we were going to sing to them with girl scouts. That went into a long explanation about what a nursing home is and how lonely they are without family. She could not wrap her mind around the fact that people wouldn't have family to care for them. Since the minute she has come into this world she has been a first eyewitness of how I take care of my mom. Three different surgeries, mom has come to live with us for anywhere from one to three months. We are frequently taking grandma to the various doctor appointments, running errands, doing gift shopping and going to clean her house. She once asked me why grandpa doesn't do it and I just told her he wasn't a nurse. Many evenings they have given me up so I can clean their house more easily and they have seen me take care of dad and have him move in after his heart attack and hernia surgeries. When Greg didn't have someone to take him to the hosptial for gallbladder surgery, I did happily. The thing is most of what i do does not involve nursing. I used to work in a nursing home and there were so many able bodied people living there that were in better shap than my mom. It made me sad to think that with a little help they could have stayed in their homes longer. I love the eastern cultures who without exception take on the responsibility of aging parents. After all they have given us. I think if families turned to each other more for help then our country would not be in such a welfare state that it is.
Anyway, Emily was upset that people had to live without their families and she worked so hard on those cards. She put "i love you" and "may God bless you". I am so looking forward to seeing her pass out those cards and bringing joy to others. I also want to teach her not to be afraid of the handicapped and aged. It was my mom bringing me to the nursing home every single day of my childhood to feed grandma lunch that fostered in me the need to care for others in my vocation as a nurse. I have such a clear memory of seeing my grandma sitting in her wheelchair barely able to hold her head up and my mom spoonfeeding her pureed, babyfood looking stuff. What a turn of roles that was. I have never driven to her house and wished I didn't have to go to do that work. Tomorrow the girls and I will go and do Christmas cleaning and decorating there and I can't wait!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Thanksgiving
On this, the week before thanksgiving, there are so many things to reflect on to be thankful for. On thursday I was lucky enough to take part in an 8 hour work retreat at a fabulous country club. My hospital puts it on once a year and actually pays us for the day and we have a great motivational speaker that breaks down many problems that we occur on and off the job and we use teambuilding skills to accomplish and overcome barriers. This is my 8th one and it just gets better every year. At each table there are people from every walk of life at DePaul. You don't know when you sit down if you are next to a CEO or a housekeeper as everyone is dressed in their sunday best. Throughout the day we get switched up to make sure that we are out of our comfort zones and not just sitting with the people we know and work with. This year I finally found out the name of one of the cashiers in our cafeteria that I have seen many times over the last 11 years and never knew or bothered to ask her name. We thoroughly enjoyed each others' company during the day. Sometimes at work, as well as at home we get such tunnel vision to our own probems and it is difficult to see past them enough to recognize the problems of those around us. Especially in the hospital setting it is easy to get stuck with the labels. There is always been the "us" verses "them" mentality with the nurses and techs. And there is such diversity among the education levels of all staff in the hospitals. Doctors on one hand and dietary or housekeepers on the other. Many times you can see resentment from those on the bottom looking up and those on the top looking down. That is why I give my hospital credit for taking the money and time to make sure all employees are included in these retreat days to take a bread from the often thankless work we do and spend time getting to know the person behind the uniform or label.
The topic of this year's retreat was "Excellence" which is one of the 5 core values of our hospital system. We talked alot about what excellence means in terms of how it looks, how it feels, how it sounds. I guess since I haven't worked in 3 weeks since I keep getting called off, I turned more towards incorporating what I was learning into my own life at home since this has been my only employment lately. I think in terms of wife and mother my former self would probably describe it as June Clever looking and a picture perfect, neat little house. My current self though, not so much, or I am just that far from achieving excellence. Last weekend when Emily's friend's mom came to pick her up, Emily threw a stuffed animal up and it hit the ceiling fan and a dust bunny the size of Canada came flying down and landed on the floor. I thought I was going to die. She instantly said, Oh don't worry about it, if we went to my house and threw stuffed animals at the fan, the same thing probably would happen. We had a big laugh about it. No, my current self view excellence in a much different light. As far as how it looks, excellents can be seen in the smiles on my kids faces. I cannot ever get tired of taking their pictures up close to see how their eyes light up and those big toothy smiles. Excellence can be seen in simple ways like when Scott comes home and sees a homemade apple pie or I make special treats for him to take hunting. As far as how excellence sounds in my house. I would love to say their are no words of meanness or hatred but that would be far from the truth. After all God is determined to get me back for all the fights Jackie and I had growing up. Lord only knows I get a sharp tongue when I am angry or tired or frustrated. However, I think excellence is achieved not through perfection but the abilily to say we are sorry. For me excellence sounds like "I'm sorry" " I forgive you" and "I love you." And for those 3 phrases we are plentiful in this house. The third thing is how excellence feels. That can only be described in the warmth I get from a hug from any one in this house. I had a bad day last weekend when Scott was gone for 3 days and in my exhaustion and frustration I started crying in front of the kids. Lauren (4) told me to come up in her bed with her and she said "Mommy, I will hold you" and I laid my head on her chest. Last night after dinner I needed quiet and dark for 15 minutes after a long day with 2 sick kids and Emily and I went to my room closed the door and had the lights out. We were talking about Christmas and I asked her what made Christmas special to her. Of course inside I was saying " say Jesus, say Jesus, not presents," but fully prepared myself for the latter. Then she said " Mom, it is special because it is Jesus' birthday and it is also special because he doesn't want any presents so he lets santa give them to us." Yes, to me that is excellence!
The topic of this year's retreat was "Excellence" which is one of the 5 core values of our hospital system. We talked alot about what excellence means in terms of how it looks, how it feels, how it sounds. I guess since I haven't worked in 3 weeks since I keep getting called off, I turned more towards incorporating what I was learning into my own life at home since this has been my only employment lately. I think in terms of wife and mother my former self would probably describe it as June Clever looking and a picture perfect, neat little house. My current self though, not so much, or I am just that far from achieving excellence. Last weekend when Emily's friend's mom came to pick her up, Emily threw a stuffed animal up and it hit the ceiling fan and a dust bunny the size of Canada came flying down and landed on the floor. I thought I was going to die. She instantly said, Oh don't worry about it, if we went to my house and threw stuffed animals at the fan, the same thing probably would happen. We had a big laugh about it. No, my current self view excellence in a much different light. As far as how it looks, excellents can be seen in the smiles on my kids faces. I cannot ever get tired of taking their pictures up close to see how their eyes light up and those big toothy smiles. Excellence can be seen in simple ways like when Scott comes home and sees a homemade apple pie or I make special treats for him to take hunting. As far as how excellence sounds in my house. I would love to say their are no words of meanness or hatred but that would be far from the truth. After all God is determined to get me back for all the fights Jackie and I had growing up. Lord only knows I get a sharp tongue when I am angry or tired or frustrated. However, I think excellence is achieved not through perfection but the abilily to say we are sorry. For me excellence sounds like "I'm sorry" " I forgive you" and "I love you." And for those 3 phrases we are plentiful in this house. The third thing is how excellence feels. That can only be described in the warmth I get from a hug from any one in this house. I had a bad day last weekend when Scott was gone for 3 days and in my exhaustion and frustration I started crying in front of the kids. Lauren (4) told me to come up in her bed with her and she said "Mommy, I will hold you" and I laid my head on her chest. Last night after dinner I needed quiet and dark for 15 minutes after a long day with 2 sick kids and Emily and I went to my room closed the door and had the lights out. We were talking about Christmas and I asked her what made Christmas special to her. Of course inside I was saying " say Jesus, say Jesus, not presents," but fully prepared myself for the latter. Then she said " Mom, it is special because it is Jesus' birthday and it is also special because he doesn't want any presents so he lets santa give them to us." Yes, to me that is excellence!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Old Friends
What a fun day. I had 4 of my friends (3 the Vogel sisters) and Karin over for a playdate. Five years ago if someone said we would have a playdate with 10 kids among the 4 of us I would have never believed them. Heck, five years ago I was the only one sitting at home with a kid or a husband. Now here we all are in the middle of constant chaos and diapers and screaming and crying. Things were much easier when we just had to worry about what beer was on special for happy hour. After traveling about the country with these friends over the last 15+ years I am just amazed at how we have evolved into almost middle aged people. I still laugh about Tina and Amy passing out on my lawn in Milwaukee when they came to visit me at college while I was sound asleep in my bed. Thank God my roomates found them before the homeless people ramsacked them. So many memories and although we don't get together near as much as before, things never seem to change and I love having that constant in my life. I am so proud of my friend Amy for going back to school for nursing as she has felt that tug on her for many years and I cannot imagine doing all that with 2 little kids to care for also. Good for her! The profession could definately use the good energy!
I am amazed at how much I miss Jackie. She left yesterday for a 4 day retreat that she is leading and won't be back till sunday. I guess I am having a pity party since Scott is ready to leave for the 3rd weekend of hunting. Without Jax to talk to 10 times a day and hubby gone I guess it means just me and the kids. Emily has more of a social life than i do. She has movie night at school tonight and was at a party last night. Sleepover tomorrow night. And she is only six. Next weekend Scott is taking her hunting and she can hardly wait. His plan is to hunt and fish with his daughters every weekend until they are 20 to keep them away from boys. Good luck with that one honey! Well, I must go so I can make scott a homemade apple pie for the big hunt. He doesn't know how good he's got it!
I am amazed at how much I miss Jackie. She left yesterday for a 4 day retreat that she is leading and won't be back till sunday. I guess I am having a pity party since Scott is ready to leave for the 3rd weekend of hunting. Without Jax to talk to 10 times a day and hubby gone I guess it means just me and the kids. Emily has more of a social life than i do. She has movie night at school tonight and was at a party last night. Sleepover tomorrow night. And she is only six. Next weekend Scott is taking her hunting and she can hardly wait. His plan is to hunt and fish with his daughters every weekend until they are 20 to keep them away from boys. Good luck with that one honey! Well, I must go so I can make scott a homemade apple pie for the big hunt. He doesn't know how good he's got it!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Fabulous Florida
What a wonderful trip I had last weekend to see Sharon in Florida with just the girls, Emily and Lauren and my mom. Little Ben stayed in St. louis with daddy and much help from family to care for him in my absence. He actually survived without me proving many wrong. We flew down on Thursday and went to SeaWorld on Friday. Mom had a motorized scooter but after one too many close calls running over small children, we opted for a regular wheelchair instead. It was better exercise for me anyway. She thoroughly enjoyed the whale and dolphin shows and loved seeing us feed the sharks and pet the rays. Sharon and I enjoyed plenty of good ole complimentary AB products to get us through the day. I had not seen my mom have that much energy in so many years, it was such a blessing and joy to have her spend that time with us. We went down to Naples Beach on saturday and actually met a family from church who have a daughter in Emily's class and were on Marco Island for the week. Their daughter did not know we were coming and the look on her face when Em walked up to her on the beach was priceless.
On sunday we had to take mom back down to Naples to see the sunset from the pier and she wanted to watch the girls play in the ocean and on the beach. She said she envied me so much being able to walk in the sand while the watch washed up on my feet. We had a terrific meal and the next day I took the girls swimming and we headed back to the airport.
I am so lucky to be able to travel with my kids and both my parents. When I was pregnant with Ben, Dad and I drove all the way to Ft. Myers and stayed for 2 weeks. Dad came with us on almost all of our camping trips this summer and I am so thankful to witness the relationships form between my parents and my children, especially since I have next to no memories of grandparents from either side. It just takes me back to my childhood to see Dad telling stories, playing games and watching airplanes. I have so many memories of him doing the same things with me. My kids have the same awe and wonder as I did for my whole childhood. I love to see mom hug and hold Lauren for long periods of time because that is what my memory is full of. Mom would sit on her big rocker and just hold me. I also see her spoiling my kids to death just like she did with Jackie (just kidding Jax). Emily asked me why I always hold Grandma's hand, whether it be at church or walking around, like a little kid and I told her I am never too old to hold hands with my mom and dad because some day those hands will not be there to hold, except in my heart. I made her promise to never get too old to hold my hand and with the sass of a 6 year old she replied," I'll think about it."
I will post pics from the trip as soon as I can find the computer cord for my camera.
On sunday we had to take mom back down to Naples to see the sunset from the pier and she wanted to watch the girls play in the ocean and on the beach. She said she envied me so much being able to walk in the sand while the watch washed up on my feet. We had a terrific meal and the next day I took the girls swimming and we headed back to the airport.
I am so lucky to be able to travel with my kids and both my parents. When I was pregnant with Ben, Dad and I drove all the way to Ft. Myers and stayed for 2 weeks. Dad came with us on almost all of our camping trips this summer and I am so thankful to witness the relationships form between my parents and my children, especially since I have next to no memories of grandparents from either side. It just takes me back to my childhood to see Dad telling stories, playing games and watching airplanes. I have so many memories of him doing the same things with me. My kids have the same awe and wonder as I did for my whole childhood. I love to see mom hug and hold Lauren for long periods of time because that is what my memory is full of. Mom would sit on her big rocker and just hold me. I also see her spoiling my kids to death just like she did with Jackie (just kidding Jax). Emily asked me why I always hold Grandma's hand, whether it be at church or walking around, like a little kid and I told her I am never too old to hold hands with my mom and dad because some day those hands will not be there to hold, except in my heart. I made her promise to never get too old to hold my hand and with the sass of a 6 year old she replied," I'll think about it."
I will post pics from the trip as soon as I can find the computer cord for my camera.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Wonderful night
I have to talk about how happy I was to go to work last night. I had been cancelled quite a bit lately and when I do work it has not been on my floor and I get shipped all over the hospital. Last night I was able to work on my general surgical floor and I had a wonderful group of patients. My favorite was Timmy. He is a 54 year old with down's syndrome. Had the biggest smile on his face when I came in. He had bladder surgery yesterday and had a large catheter coming out of him to drain his urine. He also had an iv so unfortunately we had to restrain him. We tried not to but it could be really damaging to him if he pulled his catheter out. We used these very large mittens that are soft and don't let you grab anything, kind of like boxing gloves. Everytime I walked past he was sitting up and would say "Hey miss, can you come in here. I can't get these off." I would remind him that we can't take them off but he was like a child."But but but pllleeeaaassseee! I don't like them." He was just kicking and squirming for the whole time I was there doing every thing he could to wiggle his hands out. I gave him a sleeping pill hoping it would get him to just go to bed but nothing worked. I finally had time and closed the door, turned out the light, fed him some pudding and rubbed his head until his eyes were just about shut. Then he got the most angelic sleepy look on his face and said "night night mommy"
His mom was dead and all he had was one brother and his wife but they had a brand new baby and with his infection, could not come see him. It was the sweetest thing and as I was rubbing his head I just kept seeing the face of God in him. Really neat moment for me and I am glad I had the time to do it. Of course just like with my own kids, just as soon as I thought he was totally asleep, I slowly turned around to walk out the door and he popped up and said "Hey miss, could you take these things off my hands." Of course he had a huge smile on his face. there is definately a special place in heaven for these angels with down's. Hearts of gold for sure!
His mom was dead and all he had was one brother and his wife but they had a brand new baby and with his infection, could not come see him. It was the sweetest thing and as I was rubbing his head I just kept seeing the face of God in him. Really neat moment for me and I am glad I had the time to do it. Of course just like with my own kids, just as soon as I thought he was totally asleep, I slowly turned around to walk out the door and he popped up and said "Hey miss, could you take these things off my hands." Of course he had a huge smile on his face. there is definately a special place in heaven for these angels with down's. Hearts of gold for sure!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
What a day!
I just cannot believe what an awesome day I had. I slept very well after a much needed date night last night with hubby. I woke up with an abundance of energy and went to Quail Ridge Park and walked for 4 miles up hills (both ways) and was listening to David Kauffman on my ipod. The fog was so thick but you could tell the sky was crystal blue above it. I felt like I was the only one there. The meadows were so grown up and fields of wheat were yellow. It was amazing and I felt like it was just me and the big guy upstairs.
Then came playing outside with the kids and accumulating several more bruises to my shins from Emily making me be the goalie. Ben and I had some hammock time and the weather was just too perfect to get anything accomplished inside. Jackie and Dan made us lunch. I got a nap which is always a good thing.
Then it was off to 6flags for Emily and I. We never get to do the rollercoasters with lauren and ben around so off we went in the evening to enjoy Fright Fest! It was awesome. She was brave enough to ride the front seat of the infamous screaming eagle roller coasther and they turn off all the lights at night to make it scarier. I was about to cry! We of course had to do it 2 more times. We did a haunted hayride and guys were chasing us with chainsaws. she was crackin up and asked "why do those guys have lawnmowers?" Even the spurting blood and eyeballs falling out did not phase her a bit! Then we went to watch a show in the theater and she was so excited because she said it would be just like the shows I go to with Jackie at the Fox downtown. It was great. It had ghouls singing and dancing with a great little story line. They even had a girl singing a Hanna Montana song which of course made her day. Like five times during our time, Emily would turn to me and say "thanks so much mom." Gosh, i really miss her. Between school and soccer and sleepovers I never get to see her. I am just so glad I make time for just us because when I do see her I usually am just nagging her to do her homework, put away her stuff or eat her dinner. This was just pure fun and time to reconnect. We were driving on this beautiful rode on hwy 109 up and down hills and the leaves were starting to change against the blue sky. I was telling her how there were people who did not believe that God is real. She wanted to know how those people believe that we came on earth. Then I told her about the big bang theory. She asked how I know that God is real. I told her to look out the window and see the amazing colors and beauty. I told her that when I see she and Lauren playing and coloring and Emily reading to her then i know God is real. I told her when we are really scared about something and we pray for peace and comfort that I know God is real. Then she reminded me of a time over memorial day this year we were rushing back from a camping trip to beat a storm but got caught right up in it and saw a funnel cloud nearby and hail started falling and we both started saying Hail Marys together loud amidst our tears because we were so scared. She said God must be real because he made us feel better during that storm.
I think of how lonely the life must be without faith or believe in a spiritual being. How sad if this was it. No hope to see loved ones in the next life, no one to ask for help or love when others don't care or want to listen. No one to share life's hardships or joys with when you are by yourself. I am so thankful for the gift of faith in my life. I pray that everyone may find peace and hope in their lives.
Then came playing outside with the kids and accumulating several more bruises to my shins from Emily making me be the goalie. Ben and I had some hammock time and the weather was just too perfect to get anything accomplished inside. Jackie and Dan made us lunch. I got a nap which is always a good thing.
Then it was off to 6flags for Emily and I. We never get to do the rollercoasters with lauren and ben around so off we went in the evening to enjoy Fright Fest! It was awesome. She was brave enough to ride the front seat of the infamous screaming eagle roller coasther and they turn off all the lights at night to make it scarier. I was about to cry! We of course had to do it 2 more times. We did a haunted hayride and guys were chasing us with chainsaws. she was crackin up and asked "why do those guys have lawnmowers?" Even the spurting blood and eyeballs falling out did not phase her a bit! Then we went to watch a show in the theater and she was so excited because she said it would be just like the shows I go to with Jackie at the Fox downtown. It was great. It had ghouls singing and dancing with a great little story line. They even had a girl singing a Hanna Montana song which of course made her day. Like five times during our time, Emily would turn to me and say "thanks so much mom." Gosh, i really miss her. Between school and soccer and sleepovers I never get to see her. I am just so glad I make time for just us because when I do see her I usually am just nagging her to do her homework, put away her stuff or eat her dinner. This was just pure fun and time to reconnect. We were driving on this beautiful rode on hwy 109 up and down hills and the leaves were starting to change against the blue sky. I was telling her how there were people who did not believe that God is real. She wanted to know how those people believe that we came on earth. Then I told her about the big bang theory. She asked how I know that God is real. I told her to look out the window and see the amazing colors and beauty. I told her that when I see she and Lauren playing and coloring and Emily reading to her then i know God is real. I told her when we are really scared about something and we pray for peace and comfort that I know God is real. Then she reminded me of a time over memorial day this year we were rushing back from a camping trip to beat a storm but got caught right up in it and saw a funnel cloud nearby and hail started falling and we both started saying Hail Marys together loud amidst our tears because we were so scared. She said God must be real because he made us feel better during that storm.
I think of how lonely the life must be without faith or believe in a spiritual being. How sad if this was it. No hope to see loved ones in the next life, no one to ask for help or love when others don't care or want to listen. No one to share life's hardships or joys with when you are by yourself. I am so thankful for the gift of faith in my life. I pray that everyone may find peace and hope in their lives.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Lauren, Lauren Lauren
I have told you before that my second child never ceases to crack me up and she did it once again. I was eating dinner with the kids while Scott worked late and they were complaining about their food, as ususal, and I went into a lengthy talk about how there are children all over the world who are starving (wait, haven't I heard this somewhere before?) and those children would be sooooo grateful for mom's yucky cooking. They proceeded to ask so many questions and just couldn't believe that there really are kids who have no food on the table. I thought I would make it more real for them and talk about how the kids go through trash cans and dumpsters and eat food that other people throw away. I could just see the wheels turning in Lauren's head from the look on her face and then she said " Mommy I have been throwing away my sandwich at preschool everyday because I don't like bologne and I didn't want you to be mad at me so I didn't tell you, but now I can tell you because you will be so proud of me for sharing my food with the poor kids who dig through the trashcans! Right Mommy!" Without missing a beat and having nothing to really respond with so as to not dash her enthusiasm for serving the poor I replied "sure Lauren."
I also have a funny story that happened last week. Scott took the kids to Lauren's gymnastics class so I could have a minute to do the dishes and with 10 minutes he called me and said "Did you forget something?" I said "no, the juice and snacks are in the diaper bag." He said "how about a diaper?" I said "I am certain I put it in the bag." He calmly said " How about a diaper on Ben?" I busted out laughing so hard because I had an image in my mind of him standing there while Ben was pissing all over the floor. I could hardly breathe. Three kids and I have never forgotten to put a diaper on one of them. He was not pleased at my amusement God love him. I went to rescue ben and he was covered from his neck to his feet in pee. It was like he took a diuretic or something. I am sure all the fresh air just kept making him pee. I just can't stop telling tha story. He has forgiven me enough to release me for a weekend at a bed and breakfast in missouri wine country with none other than my sister who I talk to 10 times a day at least and live next to. I am sure we will appear as a lesbian couple and I pray there are not people who want a quiet romantic weekend because many have witnessed it but there is no quiet in Klump when you add wine. Emily came to me crying tonight and begging me not to leave and miss her game. I told her I am a better mommy because I do leave and have fun on my own. She said "it's not fair for you to have fun if I'm not there." Unlike my mom who never had a minute much less a weekend break from her kids, my 3 weekends a year are an absolute necessity to my well being and I always come back with a much better perspective (and usually a hangover)
I also have a funny story that happened last week. Scott took the kids to Lauren's gymnastics class so I could have a minute to do the dishes and with 10 minutes he called me and said "Did you forget something?" I said "no, the juice and snacks are in the diaper bag." He said "how about a diaper?" I said "I am certain I put it in the bag." He calmly said " How about a diaper on Ben?" I busted out laughing so hard because I had an image in my mind of him standing there while Ben was pissing all over the floor. I could hardly breathe. Three kids and I have never forgotten to put a diaper on one of them. He was not pleased at my amusement God love him. I went to rescue ben and he was covered from his neck to his feet in pee. It was like he took a diuretic or something. I am sure all the fresh air just kept making him pee. I just can't stop telling tha story. He has forgiven me enough to release me for a weekend at a bed and breakfast in missouri wine country with none other than my sister who I talk to 10 times a day at least and live next to. I am sure we will appear as a lesbian couple and I pray there are not people who want a quiet romantic weekend because many have witnessed it but there is no quiet in Klump when you add wine. Emily came to me crying tonight and begging me not to leave and miss her game. I told her I am a better mommy because I do leave and have fun on my own. She said "it's not fair for you to have fun if I'm not there." Unlike my mom who never had a minute much less a weekend break from her kids, my 3 weekends a year are an absolute necessity to my well being and I always come back with a much better perspective (and usually a hangover)
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Second place
Well, we have spent the last two weekends at a soccer tournament in Florissant and it ended with Emily's team in the championship game against the other Assumption first grade team. Kids who were friends at school were in fierce competition against one another. It came down to a tie which went into double overtime then a shootout, best of 5. That is where it all went sour. Our poor goalie was in tears when we lost even though she was the only one to score during the game which got us into a tie. We all did our best to cheer her up and most of the other girls could have cared less because the trophies for second place were the same size as first. Finally Em got her trophy with a little soccer player on it. That was true success for her. She also was goalie for the first half and stopped all but one ball. My nerves are shot after all these intense games. I get way too into it but with the Rams and Cardinals sucking so bad I have to put my energy into something.
We were totally rained out at 6flags yesterday and Emily found out she is too short for the upsidedown rollercoasters. Bummer! She was so ready. Jackie had a Wii/ Rock Band party last night that went into the WIII hours of the morning so I am exhausted. I like to watch people do rock band but way to hard for me to enjoy playing it. I guess I do not have an inner drummer like Jax that is just dying to get out! Have a good day!
We were totally rained out at 6flags yesterday and Emily found out she is too short for the upsidedown rollercoasters. Bummer! She was so ready. Jackie had a Wii/ Rock Band party last night that went into the WIII hours of the morning so I am exhausted. I like to watch people do rock band but way to hard for me to enjoy playing it. I guess I do not have an inner drummer like Jax that is just dying to get out! Have a good day!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Good Job Emmy!
Well, I started off the day at 6:30am with a parent teacher conference at em's school. Her teacher is having a baby next month so she is doing them a little early. I was a little unsure of her teacher at the beginning of the year because she looks like she is 20 and has 28 kids to deal with, but I feel much better after talking with her. We started the meeting out with a prayer that we said together asking for God's blessing on Emily on her journey of education and for His help in guiding her teacher and Scott and I to lead her down the right path. I was so impressed and felt like she had the same priorities as I do. I was even more relieved to find out how well she is doing and is at the level of a second semester second grader if not third grade in reading. She will start an accelerated reading program where she will pick out a book at the library that is challenging and after reading it twice her teacher will test her on it. She had to do a book report. Can you imagine? First graders dealing with reading comprehension? I was lucky if I could see spot run at that age. I also like that each grade is paired up with an upper grade student to do one on one reading. They call them reading buddies and once a week they get together to read to each other. It is supposed to build confidence in reading aloud and gives the older kids a feeling of doing service and helping others. Emily just loves her buddy and said she is glad because she is like having a big sister.
I was at her school during recess and just loved to see our newly ordained priest doing jump rope with the girls. He is quite talented! Our pastor, Fr. Joe who is very animated himself, said his mission while he is here is to make himself visible as much as possible and to share his joy of life as a priest to as many kids as he can and I think he is a great mentor for our new priest. I think the best way to inspire new vocations is to make priests visible and accessible to kids. Growing up I can only remeber one priest, fr. Costello, who even remotely looked like he loved his life and vocation. Most of the priests were harsh and I was afraid of them. I want my children to be able to run up and hug the priest after mass. To me that is more the image of Jesus that they are there to represent.
Anyway, gotta go!
I was at her school during recess and just loved to see our newly ordained priest doing jump rope with the girls. He is quite talented! Our pastor, Fr. Joe who is very animated himself, said his mission while he is here is to make himself visible as much as possible and to share his joy of life as a priest to as many kids as he can and I think he is a great mentor for our new priest. I think the best way to inspire new vocations is to make priests visible and accessible to kids. Growing up I can only remeber one priest, fr. Costello, who even remotely looked like he loved his life and vocation. Most of the priests were harsh and I was afraid of them. I want my children to be able to run up and hug the priest after mass. To me that is more the image of Jesus that they are there to represent.
Anyway, gotta go!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
What a beautiful day!
I have to say, it is one heck of a gorgeous day here in the midwest! After getting 6 inches of rain in 24 hours sunday, there is nothing but beautiful blue skies, the greenest grass we have ever had at the end of summer and my flowers are still alive, another first. I just finished with Ben outside. First we decorated for Halloween and he clearly wanted to go for a walk and did not want me to continue working. As he walked up the sidewalk with the sun behind him, he found a new friend. His name is shadow and I totally remember the first time each of the girls found the same friend. He was cracking up. He would move his hand up and wiggle his fingers, and so would shadow. He kept running up 3 squares on the sidewalk and back then would turn around to make sure his friend was still there. Then I would have my shadow come and get him and he would just squeal. So much delight in such simple ways. I am so grateful to my kids for reminding me of the joys in seeing the world through a child's eyes. It is something that is so easily lost in the dismal outlook we find on the news, in magazines and through the complete negative, world is ending view that some members of my family have (i am not naming names but you know who you are). It is scary turning on the TV each day with more depressing financial outcomes, and although thankfully we have not been affected yet, I just try to savor the beauty each day has to offer and all that I have been blessed with and leave my stress and worries with the Lord who will help me work through whatever may come my way. Enjoy the simple things today that bring a smile to your face!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
YYYYUUUUMMMMMYYY!
i just love the Kraft Food and Family magazine. so many good ideas and usually I have the stuff.
Twice Baked Sweet Potatoes
2 large sweet potatoes
2 oz cream cheese
2 tbsp ff milk
1 tbsp brown sugar
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 c pecans
Heat oven to 425 and slice potatoes lengthwise and place face down on foil lined pan.
Bake 30 minutes till tender then scoop out middles and add everything else and mash with fork. Spoon back into shells and top with nuts. Bake 8 minutes. I topped mine with 2 marshmallows and made it dessert!
Twice Baked Sweet Potatoes
2 large sweet potatoes
2 oz cream cheese
2 tbsp ff milk
1 tbsp brown sugar
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 c pecans
Heat oven to 425 and slice potatoes lengthwise and place face down on foil lined pan.
Bake 30 minutes till tender then scoop out middles and add everything else and mash with fork. Spoon back into shells and top with nuts. Bake 8 minutes. I topped mine with 2 marshmallows and made it dessert!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Labor Day Weekend
The pictures to the right are from our last camping trip to Mark Twain Landing up near Hannibal. It was a large family gathering of sorts. Mary and her family came from Kansas. Tim and Jeff and their families all came and we brought Dad along. Those who are not accostomed to camping, spent the weekend in either a condo or nicely equipped cabin.It was chaotic at times but we enjoyed ourselves. It was a perfect weather weekend and we went to the water park 2 days in a row and watching my brothers struggle to get into an inner tube during the active wave pool brought so much laughter! The guys had a huge grill master cookoff on sunday and we ate incredible food!The only things missing were our dear sisters Jackie and Sharon who were basking in the Florida sunshine in peace and quiet. They have already commited themselves to coming next year. Camping with Tim reminds me of going with Cousin Eddy from Vacation. Always a good time!
Oh boy-here we go!
For anyone who knows me at all, this is very uncharacteristic for me to use a computer to do anything other than check emails. I downloaded pictures, ordered from snapfish and started a blog all in the same day! I have no idea how often I will get to this but will update as best I can.
This year was a big change for me with my oldest, Emily starting school full time. She is my rock and it has been difficult to handle my baby, Ben (15 mos) without her. It is great when kids reach the age where they can be an extra set of eyes and ears. Lauren is my 4 year old and such a comedian. I am trying desparately to prevent second child syndrome which I have witnessed to be prevalent in my family. I really try to give her activities and outings that are completely different and separate from Emily. The competition is bound to erupt eventually but I will enjoy peace for now.
My husband, Scott is starting to get worried about me. I have become rather obsessed with the politcal campaign going on. I have turned into a Fox news junkie. I wasn't really interested in it until the introduction of Sarah Palin, whom my hubbie's friends call "Baberaham Lincoln." My brother in Alaska says she has done outstanding things for the people of alaska and the sheer prospect of a woman in the white house is very exciting! Anyway, I really should spend more of my time scrapbooking instead of screaming at the TV.
Being outdoors has become a passion of mine. We are camping fanatics and this past January bought our dream pop up camper which now brings every comfort of home out into the woods. It always amazes me how entertained a child can be with something as simple as a caterpillar or watching crickets or catching fireflies with a butterfly net and putting them into a bugjug until they typically meet their untimely demise. No TVs, no phones no computers. It is just us and usually a bunch of laid back, middle class folks who spend more time in picking out and hanging just the right lights from their camper than they do preparing their taxes. We have a set of little Cabela deer lights to honor my hubbies passion. TTFN!
This year was a big change for me with my oldest, Emily starting school full time. She is my rock and it has been difficult to handle my baby, Ben (15 mos) without her. It is great when kids reach the age where they can be an extra set of eyes and ears. Lauren is my 4 year old and such a comedian. I am trying desparately to prevent second child syndrome which I have witnessed to be prevalent in my family. I really try to give her activities and outings that are completely different and separate from Emily. The competition is bound to erupt eventually but I will enjoy peace for now.
My husband, Scott is starting to get worried about me. I have become rather obsessed with the politcal campaign going on. I have turned into a Fox news junkie. I wasn't really interested in it until the introduction of Sarah Palin, whom my hubbie's friends call "Baberaham Lincoln." My brother in Alaska says she has done outstanding things for the people of alaska and the sheer prospect of a woman in the white house is very exciting! Anyway, I really should spend more of my time scrapbooking instead of screaming at the TV.
Being outdoors has become a passion of mine. We are camping fanatics and this past January bought our dream pop up camper which now brings every comfort of home out into the woods. It always amazes me how entertained a child can be with something as simple as a caterpillar or watching crickets or catching fireflies with a butterfly net and putting them into a bugjug until they typically meet their untimely demise. No TVs, no phones no computers. It is just us and usually a bunch of laid back, middle class folks who spend more time in picking out and hanging just the right lights from their camper than they do preparing their taxes. We have a set of little Cabela deer lights to honor my hubbies passion. TTFN!
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